Helping men who feel something missing in their lives

The Disquiet in Men

Working with men as they engage the disquiet in their lives

Are you at that stage in your life when everything is supposed to be great?


When instead, you find yourself thinking, " Something is just not right with my life... I thought there would be something more..."

Unexpectedly, you are walking around with a nagging restlessness inside and you’re not telling anyone about it.  Or if you do, you tell just enough to test their reaction – and only then with the closest people.  And, they really don’t get it completely.


  • You may be at the top of your game and you’ve got it all.  Except you feel dead inside.
  • You leave the best part of yourself on your coat hook every morning to go to a job to make it all work.
  • You are doing your best to be everyone’s picture of success and you feel like an outsider, an alien.


This is the DISQUIET.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation" -Henry David Thoreau

This disquiet shakes you up, so you're knocked off balance.  But it’s trying to tell you something.  When you ignore it, the suffering just gets worse. 


To everyone else, it might look like everything is fine.  But you know it’s not. This Disquiet: It’s vague, it’s sneaky, and it feels solitary – and that is really hard.


This is not how you thought it would be….

So what do you do?  You may think that it will go away by taking action – work harder, search for a new job, leave a marriage, just do something - anything to change the situation.

Or you may try to dull the Disquiet with drugs, alcohol, sex, TV or other distractions.

Working harder or differently doesn’t work.   Diversions don’t last long
. Neither addresses the true source of the Disquiet.

It's like eating lots of garlic and trying to hide it with mouthwash. The odor oozes out of your pores. Avoiding it just makes it come back smellier and messier.

This is because it’s trying to tell you something.

This is the tricky part. It isn’t about the right job or making a lot of money. It’s not that simple. On the surface, the Disquiet looks like it’s about not being successful. But underneath, it’s about what it means to be a man today.

We no longer have a definition of success that makes sense to men.  A lot of men feel like they are failing.

But it doesn't have to be this way.

You can learn from your Disquiet. And you may be surprised at how rich your life can be.

My name is Dave Schoof, an expert on making changes in life that stick.  I work with professional men in the middle of their lives who are unsatisfied with how it’s going.  I have helped a lot of men work with this restlessness in their lives and I can help you:

  • Identify what real, tangible in-your-gut-meaningful success is for you
  • Achieve that real success
  • Live every day as if it's your last
  • Show up fully as a husband, partner, father, friend, and in your work.
  • Actively make a lasting difference in your world



Why focus on men? I am interested in the unique stressors on men in today's world. After working with hundreds of men and women professionals, I have learned that there is a struggle that is distinctly male.


So much of men’s identity is tied up with success and work, that when neither is meaningful nor reflects their true selves, there is a real disillusionment. Learning from my work with many men and from the experiences from my own disquiet, I have focused on my services to help men navigate these challenges.


What can you do, right now?

  1. Sign up to attend the next free teleclass to learn more about the Disquiet and how to work with it.  You can listen in or ask questions.  Your choice.  To find out the date of the next session and get the call in information, click here.  
  2. Get my free report, “The Disquiet Among Men”, a study containing data from interviews with men ages 25 to 65, from all walks of life and from all around the world. You are not alone.
  3. Join the discussion about the Disquiet here on my blog titled, "Engaging the Disquiet". Read, ask questions, write comments. There is free support to help you engage your own Disquiet.

 Click here to find out more on how you might work with your own Disquiet.