Helping men who feel something missing in their lives

The Disquiet in Men

Helping men who feel something missing in their lives

Digging in – another cost to not heeding your Disquiet

November 9th, 2010, by Dave Schoof

One of the gut-ripping, walking the floor at 2am is the shame that often pops up with The Disquiet.  Dr. Brown has done important research around this.  Shame is tied to being vulnerable, the very last thing most of us wants to be when in the midst of this experience.

This sense of shame is often associated with the crisis that comes with questioning the very things that brought success that feel empty, or the feeling of being out of step with the world are important forces that cause problems when ignored.

If this resonates, check out her other videos and books.  While her major focus is working issues of shame with women, she makes some important distinctions that are useful here.  In other videos, she makes some interesting comaprisons of how men and women deal with shame differently.

Dr Brene Brown on shame and vulnerability

I think this is still relevant – do you?

October 29th, 2010, by Dave Schoof

I haven’t been posting much here for a while.  I have been working with business leaders around the world for some time now. I have been consumed helping them in the crisis.   As we have all been doing our best to navigate our lives in these difficult times, I have been listening to many men discuss their Disquiet.

I thought back to one of the first posts about why I was doing this work.  I think it’s more relevant than ever.  Here is what I wrote:

“What are you crazy? Click to read more and enter the discussion »

Listen to the sound of Disquiet

February 7th, 2010, by Dave Schoof

The world needs your voice, your gifts.   How often do you let them go quiet thinking it’s not the right way to go, not the right thing to do, or it’s not welcome?

“One night a man was crying, Allah! Allah!  His lips grew sweet with the praising, until a cynic said, “So! I have heard you calling out, but have you ever gotten any response?”

The man had no answer to that. He quit praying and fell into a confused sleep. He dreamed he saw Khidr, the guide of souls, in a thick, green foliage. “Why did you stop praising?”

Because I’ve never heard anything back.  This longing you express is the return message.  The grief you cry out from draws you toward union.

Your pure sadness that wants help is the secret cup. Listen to the moan of a dog for its master.  That whining is the connection. There are love-dogs no one knows the names of.  Give your life to be one of them.”

Love Dogs by Rumi

Change your breath change your mind

April 29th, 2009, by Dave Schoof

A modern discussion of ancient prana breath techniques.  They are very good for changing moods, energizing, jet lag and the doldrums.  These two exercises may seem a little strange but they are very powerful and very portable!

Words of wisdom from Steve Jobs

November 29th, 2008, by Dave Schoof

Steve Jobs gave a commencement speech at Stanford University. I thought his wisdom applied very well to the struggle with the Disquiet.

“Stay hungry, stay foolish”

How to tune into the Disquiet

August 16th, 2008, by Dave Schoof

I talk a lot about the way to work with your Disquiet is to listen to its messages. Easier said than done! What’s the difference between your gut instincts or intuition and the old voices in your head telling you what you should and shouldn’t do?

When you are trying to figure out a course of action, it sometimes gets challenging to sort out all the messages swirling around in your head. How do I know I am not mistaking wisdom for laziness or plain old fear? How can I tell the difference between impulses and good judgment? How do I not mistake a message of making a change because I just don’t like something or is it the smart thing to do?

Click to read more and enter the discussion »