Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you were working, you just weren’t showing up all that great? I have. I’ve worked on projects where I felt cursed. The best of me just couldn’t surface. It was like doing everything with one hand tied behind my back and my shoes on backwards.

Or where all of a sudden you felt like you were the only one left on the planet after some sci-fi disaster turned everyone else into zombies? I have. There are times when I feel like no one really understood me.  I felt small and ineffectual.

I believe this is what happens when we don’t have enough of the people and things in our lives that reflect back to us the best part of ourselves. There is nothing like engaging in great creative brainstorming sessions with colleagues who really value your talents. Or hanging with friends who just get you and you can feel that deep in your gut.
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The different levels of the tragedy in Virginia are so deep, I have yet to be able to fully see and feel them.  I was touched in the lightest connection to it as the parent of kids who have friends attending and who could have been there for a long weekend visit. 

And then we were connected to the other side of the tragedy with them having friends at the same high school as the shooter.  A very light connection but it felt in my heart like touching a hi-voltage line.  So I can’t comprehend the loss for the parents and loved ones.

After the immediate near-panic trying to determine they were safe, the beginnings of the waves of horror started rolling in.  The incredible losses…the terrible suffering….the brokeness of a soul who acted as he did…..

I really don’t know what to write here but I had to mark it.  With deep sorrow.    

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ETD #20: The April issue of “Time For Change”

“Time for Change” focuses on different issues about the Disquiet. It’s like a coaching conversation in which I will work on a particular aspect and provide steps you can take to work with your own Disquiet. You can ask questions or share you experiences here in the comments below.

Please note that these monthly newsletter editions are not available on the Feed. So if you want to receive your own issue when it’s published, you can subscribe by filling out the form box on any sidebar on this site or by clicking here. You will also get a copy of the report from my ongoing study based on interviews with men around the world who discuss their Disquiet.

This month’s article:

The problem with seeing it as a problem

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 Podcast [7:26m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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Are you at war with your Disquiet?   Did it start as a midlife crisis and blow into a major war with yourself?

How does it escalate like in an arms race?

We might start small with our defenses: avoidance, pretending its not there and maybe even making jokes about it. The Disquiet might get quiet for a while and the “all clear” is sounded.

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Is your Disquiet friend or foe?

Radar, sentries, surveillance and alarm systems are all set up to identify a “target” as friend or foe. If it’s an enemy, alarms go off and defenses are activated.

What about your Disquiet? Is that underground throb of unease in your life a friend or the enemy?

That is an important question because it determines what you do with it. A lot of us don’t like the pain and discomfort from the Disquiet so we identify it as “FOE” and act accordingly. It becomes something to be destroyed. The pain and uneasiness to be eradicated.

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www.vonnegut.com

Kurt Vonnegut Jr
1922-2007

I loved Kurt Vonnegut. I found him in the darkest days of my adolescence. His books were a light in the darkness for me. Through the wild universes he created and his razor sharp wit, he expanded my horizons in powerful and lasting ways. I learned more about what it means to be human – both the horror and the majesty.

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