I receive a lot of emails from wives whose husbands have left them or are discovered having an affair.  “He must be having a midlife crisis”.

Is it?  In a NY Times article, Dr Richard Friedman, a professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College, challenges the notion. In discussing one case similar to the emails I mentioned, he described it as “this was a garden-variety case of a middle-aged narcissist grappling with the biggest insult he had ever faced: getting older.

He goes on to write, “Why do we have to label a common reaction of the male species to one of life’s challenges — the boredom of the routine — as a crisis? True, men are generally more novelty-seeking than women, but they certainly can decide what they do with their impulses.”

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Jean Browman, at Happy Monk, posted an article that caught my eye after she sent me the link (Thanks Jean!). She is kicking off an important discussion that I want to grow here as well. So I posted part of her article below and threw in my 2 cents. I’d like your thoughts as well.

At Home In the Universe

Like all of my [Jean’s] posts, this one is presented as food for thought, and hopefully to start a conversation. Does this picture resonate with you at all? For instance, have you ever felt you looked at things differently from other people…that a part of you was alone in the universe? If so, what was your reaction? Were you frightened… depressed… exhilarated… lonely? What did you do? (more…)

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My client was really struggling with feeling lost in his life. A senior executive, he had a successful career, healthy family, a huge house in the country, took vacations…he had all that comes with the good life. The American Dream. And he felt absolutely dead inside. A zombie.

If you read my site you will learn about a particular aspect of Disquiet: one which emerges when someone is at the top of their game, has all the trappings of having made it, and yet, does not feel connected to that success.

Often they feel nothing, dead inside. They have long forgotten why they worked so hard to get what they dreamed of and now feel no sense of accomplishment or satisfaction. I have found this theme among many of my clients. I call it the Empty Success Syndrome™.

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I had the honor of recently being interviewed by Wesley Hein of LifeTwo.com.  LifeTwo is a terrific resource-rich website focusing on midlife issues ranging from midlife crisis to career issues.  This is a gret resource.  Here is the interview.  Thanks Wesley!

Dave Schoof is a regular contributor to LifeTwo who often writes about midlife crises. Years ago he had his own midlife struggles and since then has been helping others as a coach and as an author. We asked Dave about his own midlife crisis and what he has learned since then that might help others experiencing their own difficult times.

LifeTwo: You frequently use the term “disquiet” when describing what others might call a midlife crisis. Is there a difference? Is it a form of depression?

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The joys of getting older can be Disquieting

Most men working their Disquiet are baby boomers. As we are aging, there are so many more opportunities for this Disquiet to show up. Here is an amusing cut at one piece by Tom Rush - enjoy!

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 Podcast [5:04m]: Play Now | Download

ETD # 19 How to know what to say and when to say it

You can listen to this episode by clicking on the prompt above. To learn how you can automatically get new episodes for free to download to your MP3 player or computer, check out the sidebar to the right. Hint: Many of my listeners enjoy burning several on a CD and listening to them in their car.

“I only told the truth. I did the right thing. Now he’s all upset. He just doesn’t want to hear the truth. He can’t handle the truth. Now what do I do?”

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