The answer: Go deep and hold the paradoxes.

This wisdom comes from Philosopher Peter Koestenbaum, who works with business leaders trying to lead more effectively. In an article “Do You Have the Will to Lead? in February’s issue of Fast Company (here is the full article), Koestenbaum proposes you must answer the deep questions inside.

Philosopher Peter Koestenbaum poses the truly big questions: How do we act when risks seem overwhelming? What does it mean to be a successful human being?
His agenda: to apply the power of philosophy to the big question of the day — how to reconcile the often-brutal realities of business with basic human values — and to create a new language of effective leadership. “Unless the distant goals of meaning, greatness, and destiny are addressed,” Koestenbaum insists, “we can’t make an intelligent decision about what to do tomorrow morning — much less set strategy for a company or for a human life. Nothing is more practical than for people to deepen themselves. The more you understand the human condition, the more effective you are as a businessperson. Human depth makes business sense.” 

(more…)

Popularity: 15% [?]

I am re-posting this earlier article because this is such a good resouce for men with Disquiet. It is now standard issue for my clients.

A book I highly recommend for understanding and working with the Disquiet is Thomas Moore’s latest book, “The Dark Nights of the Soul, a Guide to Finding Your Way Thorough Life’s Ordeals” This is a great book by a great writer. Some you may know him from an earlier important work, “Care of the Soul ” .

(more…)

Popularity: 22% [?]

Hey I won another award - The Thinking Blogger Award for writing a blog that promotes new thinking.

Recognition from fellow bloggers is an honor. The award originated with The Thinking Blog. Thanks to the great blog When Least Expected for the recognition. Manchild writes there as a ministry.

I would like to recognize 3 blogs that I think make a real contribution and are worthy of the award as well:

dawudmiracle.com for cutting a whole new path in relationship building to grow your business in the blogosphere. He is a pioneer and his blog is hugely read for its innovative thinking.

Monk at Work shows you how to bring your heart to business. Adam is a master at helping you sharpen and increase your effectiveness with your intuition.

Conscious Cooperation for bringing a new way to communicate and work with integrity in the construction business.

Dawud, Adam and Stuart, you can click here to see more about your award.

Folks, these blogs are creating conversations that make a difference. Check them out!

Popularity: 22% [?]

Last week’s article about not waiting to live your life brought in a guest’s comment that really speaks to working with your Disquiet. You will see his post below.

Frank wrote the following:

I am flirting with retirement at the moment. I switched jobs from a high paying software development job where I spent my days in my cellar office, alone with no one to talk to and only an occasional call about “new software problems” to resolve… to something totally different - selling stairlifts. I meet interesting people everyday, do something that directly helps people. Clients range from the Rich and Famous (authors Steven King, Ann Givens Siddons) and a bunch of CEO’s that have more money than God …. to interesting and wonderful people who can barely scrape together two cents.

(more…)

Popularity: 16% [?]

“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation” -Henry David Thoreau

That greets you on the home page to this site.  I think that captures the Disquiet beautifully.

But it’s not the whole story.  There is another aspect to the suffering with the Disquiet.  That’s what I call “magical thinking”.   When I was up to my ears in hating my job and my life, I kept steeling myself each day by muttering to myself through clinched teeth that all the suffering was for the future.  If I kept plugging away, I would then have enough money, seniority, retirement, or something that would allow me to live my life on my terms.

Sounds pretty puritanical doesn’t it?  Live a life of Hell to get rewarded in the afterlife.

I hear this in many of my clients as well.  When our sense of OK’ness and success is so dependent on external factors, we are doomed to a living Hell.

It just does not work that way.  First of all, life doesn’t turn around and pay you a bonus for being miserable, like frequent flier miles for suffering.  For those who view life as something to survive, it will be just that - a never ending sequence of disasters and hardships to navigate.  For those who can learn to see that life ‘lives’ through us, there is another way to experience and relate to life.  It is about now, this moment.

David Deida in his book, “The Way of the Superior Man“, writes:

Most men make the error of thinking that one day it will be done.  They think, “If I can work enough, then one day I could rest.”  Or, “One day my woman will understand something and then stop complaining.”  Or, “I’m only doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life.”  The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way.  They won’t.  It never ends.  As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to tussle, play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift”.

So don’t wait until the kids are off to college, or retirement, or some other external guidepost to begin living.  Life is very very short and it’s waiting to live through you now.
Oh, and by the way, read David’s book - it is a great navigational aide for navigating your Disquiet.

Popularity: 17% [?]