“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation” -Henry David Thoreau

That greets you on the home page to this site.  I think that captures the Disquiet beautifully.

But it’s not the whole story.  There is another aspect to the suffering with the Disquiet.  That’s what I call “magical thinking”.   When I was up to my ears in hating my job and my life, I kept steeling myself each day by muttering to myself through clinched teeth that all the suffering was for the future.  If I kept plugging away, I would then have enough money, seniority, retirement, or something that would allow me to live my life on my terms.

Sounds pretty puritanical doesn’t it?  Live a life of Hell to get rewarded in the afterlife.

I hear this in many of my clients as well.  When our sense of OK’ness and success is so dependent on external factors, we are doomed to a living Hell.

It just does not work that way.  First of all, life doesn’t turn around and pay you a bonus for being miserable, like frequent flier miles for suffering.  For those who view life as something to survive, it will be just that - a never ending sequence of disasters and hardships to navigate.  For those who can learn to see that life ‘lives’ through us, there is another way to experience and relate to life.  It is about now, this moment.

David Deida in his book, “The Way of the Superior Man“, writes:

Most men make the error of thinking that one day it will be done.  They think, “If I can work enough, then one day I could rest.”  Or, “One day my woman will understand something and then stop complaining.”  Or, “I’m only doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life.”  The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way.  They won’t.  It never ends.  As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to tussle, play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift”.

So don’t wait until the kids are off to college, or retirement, or some other external guidepost to begin living.  Life is very very short and it’s waiting to live through you now.
Oh, and by the way, read David’s book - it is a great navigational aide for navigating your Disquiet.

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Do you feel like you have to leave the best part of you at home while you slug it out in a job that leaves you feeling lifeless?  You are not alone.

Many of my clients report this particular form of hell.   Many feel that they are trapped having to work in an environment that does not bring out their best but they can’t afford to leave.  Others seem to hit a beyond-tolerance point and do leave but find themselves back in the same situation in the next job.

What is going on?  Why do some feel like they are cursed, experiencing the same deadening inside regardless of the job they are on?  It sounds like something out of the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray.  In that movie he wakes up each day to realize it is the same day.  Despite all kinds of crazy attempts to change the day so that his life can go on, he is stuck in this weird time trap.

It may not be the job.

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To continue an ongoing discussion that emerged from an earlier post: I wrote about humility being a necessary part to work with the Disquiet (read here). Adam at Monk at Work came back with a great comment that led me to write about the Disquiet not as a sign that something’s wrong but a wonderful Geiger counter of sorts signaling you when you are out of synch with your deepest values and callings (read here).

Adam built on this at his blog and came up with 3 important action steps that could be very useful when working with the Disquiet:

How to Follow the Lonely

If you’ve got a feeling that you’re missing something, doing something wrong, or you just feel bugged about your course through life, then you just may need to “follow the lonely.”

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It has been a couple of months since I brought you resources from the web.  Here is the latest of the best out there for help in working your Disquiet and your life.

I have seen what Jonathan from Leadership Turn points out about leaders working longer hours and getting more stressed than ever.  I like his idea about finding your “prime time”.  Check it out in Are you working Smart or Dangerously Hard?

Continuing with the theme of stress, Robyn of Brain Based Biz, has a great collection of articles.  There is a test you can take to check on your level of burnout.  Why?

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6 days to a deeper understanding of your Disquiet -> And it’s free!

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Here is an artist who learned to navigate his Disquiet and help others travel theirs.Naomi Wolf’s father believes everyone has an innate artistry

By Tee Hun Ching, books for the soul:

WHEN American author and feminist thinker Naomi Wolf decided to build a treehouse for her daughter Rosa, her father Leonard paid frequent visits to their house in upstate New York.Over those six months, they talked as they worked, discussing Leonard’s favorite poems and the lessons they held.

Now in his 80s, the well-regarded poet and teacher believes creative freedom is the key to happiness.

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