Helping men who feel something missing in their lives

The Disquiet in Men

Helping men who feel something missing in their lives

Archive for the 'working with the Disquiet' Category

A scientist and her stroke of insight

Saturday, April 19th, 2008

Here is a fascinating video of a talk by a brain neuroanatomist, Jill Bolte Taylor, who had a stroke. The scientist in her kicked in as she bore witness to what was happening to her. Inside the tragedy, she discovered some amazing insights about how the brain works and how it validates some of the spiritual principles of interconnectedness and even enlightenment.

How does this relate to the Disquiet? I think it adds an important perspective. Like near death experiences that wake someone up to the preciousness of life, her story is one of wonder, comfort and insight. As you wrestle with the big questions of who you are and what is this all about, take in this inspiring piece of additional information for your map.

Thanks to the blog TED, for the vid and info. Ted is a great blog who’s byline is “Ideas worth spreading”. Let me know your reactions and how this fits into your search.

Hit the “Pause” button

Sunday, March 30th, 2008

Have you had that experience of waking in the middle of the night worrying about your life and how it’s not going right? Isn’t it amazing how you can almost feel the acceleration of the thoughts and then the panic deep in your gut flash-ignites as more and more things swoosh through your brain like a locomotive picking up speed?

That’s the Disquiet talking.

And ever catch yourself the next day as you try to delete that horrible feeling by getting busier in the day. I know I have jumped into work and activities like a madman after a night of suffering from the whirlwind of worry and fear. Like getting busier is the antidote. I think deep down I clutch at the idea that if I am busy and productive, those fears won’t come back.

But something else happened – I’d hit a wall of Disquiet. I became very dissatisfied with what I was doing. I’d often feel like a fraud. Sometimes I got angry and impatient as I ran around going through the motions of accomplishment.

That’s the Disquiet hitting back.


Making the big change – stories from the front

Friday, February 29th, 2008

If you haven’t been to for while, I recommend a visit. Wesley and Greg have done an amazing job of building a information-packed community center dealing with midlife issues in all its forms. The subject of changing careers recently came up. Wesley writes:

“Changing careers in middle age is very different than in the life periods before or after. Middle age is traditionally the peak earning period in most people’s careers. It is the time when workers achieve their highest rank, their fattest salaries, and their most prestigious achievements. But it’s also the time that we have perspective on what makes us happy and if our current career path doesn’t entail sufficient satisfaction (or future promise), then for many of us it’s time to make a change.

This is the dilemma I hear from many of my clients. I experienced it myself: A deep itch to change directions but the prospect is terrifying. Some ultimately jump, some don’t. The ones that follow their calling (myself included) don’t have an easy time of it. But most of us experience feeling more aligned and more alive than before.

Those that don’t change, well, some have to deaden their pain to be able to keep plodding. The golden handcuffs of nearing retirement or just needing to feel safe keep their hearts in check.

Wesley has a call out for stories of real experiences. Check them out – reports from the trenches of changing careers. It’s aptly titled, ” The good, bad and ugly“. Add your own .

And let us know what you think! What is going on for you?

“Yes We Can” – Giving voice to the Disquiet

Tuesday, February 5th, 2008

Whether or not you agree with his politics, there is no denying that Obama has tapped into the deep Disquiet in this country. In this video, several musicians blended with a speech that is giving voice to that Disquiet.

Yes We Can Song – Barack Obama Song by Will.I.Am

What if you gave voice to your Disquiet? What would your rally call be?

What are key skills in working with important change?

Sunday, February 3rd, 2008

The answer: Go deep and hold the paradoxes.

This wisdom comes from Philosopher Peter Koestenbaum, who works with business leaders trying to lead more effectively. In an article “Do You Have the Will to Lead? in February’s issue of Fast Company (here is the full article), Koestenbaum proposes you must answer the deep questions inside.

Philosopher Peter Koestenbaum poses the truly big questions: How do we act when risks seem overwhelming? What does it mean to be a successful human being?
His agenda: to apply the power of philosophy to the big question of the day — how to reconcile the often-brutal realities of business with basic human values — and to create a new language of effective leadership. “Unless the distant goals of meaning, greatness, and destiny are addressed,” Koestenbaum insists, “we can’t make an intelligent decision about what to do tomorrow morning — much less set strategy for a company or for a human life. Nothing is more practical than for people to deepen themselves. The more you understand the human condition, the more effective you are as a businessperson. Human depth makes business sense.” 


“Bah Humbug”, a holiday first aid list

Monday, December 24th, 2007

This post was originally created in December 2006.  It is re-posted here by popular demand.

Disquiet and the Holidays


Alister Sim as Scrooge

I want to just go to an island without colored light-strings, department store carols, or the TV screaming at me to buy stuff at 1am for the best deals. I don’t want to watch all my favorite shows get mushy and sugary with fake snow and jingle bells in their soundtracks.

I actually seem angry when I daydream about Christmases past. I can’t seem to connect to anything good about it at all. So strange! I remember last Christmas when I was singing carols, buying Starbucks for strangers and loving every ritual and icon. What’s wrong with me?

Have you ever felt that way? Felt totally out of step with where everyone else seemed to be? Like the whole world was happy and you weren’t?

After working with my Disquietâ„¢ for years now, I recognize what is happening and know what to do. But in holidays past, I was confused and worried. And that only added about a ton of weight to an already overwhelming load of unease. (more…)