Helping you live in mid-life without a crisis
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Husband struggling with his Disquiet? Get a massage!
I receive a lot of emails from wives and partners of men suffering with their Disquiet. They are worried about their husbands and don’t know how to help. There are things they can do (see “What if I think my husband is having a midlife crisis?” part 1 and part 2). But what I stress as critical is for them to get support and do things that help nourish themselves.
Like any caregiver situation, the person giving the support often gets so drained they lose their ability to support. See the recent news article about partners of cancer patients suffering from depression.
So when your mate is suffering for along time - get support, either from a friend or a professional. And whether it’s a long run or just a period of unrest, get a massage!
Really! Here’s why: Wesley at Lifetwo wrote this:
One of the most common suggestions on midlife crisis discussion forums for women whose husbands are experiencing a midlife crisis (or battling depression) is to book themselves a massage. A massage?
The suggestions typically come from women whose spouses’ psychological conditions had led to both personal stress on their part as well as reduced physical contact between them. Almost all of these women noted immediate benefits from getting a therapeutic massage.
The Mayo Clinic agrees by noting that in addition to the obvious benefits of relaxation studies have shown that massage can benefit a person’s self-esteem:
Because massage involves direct contact with another person through touch, it can make you feel cared for.
The Clinic also noted anxiety reduction and immune system improvements as additional benefits.
Of course massage is not a panacea for midlife crisis or marital problems. But part of the job of a person whose significant other is having problems is to take care of themselves making the massage suggestion a good one.
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Tags: Women & family, anxiety reduction, caregiver situation, family, husband suffering, midlife crisis, therapeutic massage
April 18th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
I am a massage therapist in Sarasota, FL and I have many clients from all walks of life–quite a few of whom are primary caregivers.
It is so important for people to take even just an hour for themself and reaffirm that they too are worthy of “me time” and the attention of someone else. I’m glad that this is being recognized on a large level!
April 18th, 2007 at 10:11 pm
Hi Lizz - glad you found me. Thanks for your comment.
You’re right about the primary care givers needing support.
Also, I also send a lot of my coaching clients to massage therapists. It’s for more than just working out stress points - its about waking up the body.
I find a lot of us “go to sleep in our bodeis, unaware of what is happening. Almost like we live from our shoulders up. Massage moves the energy and brings that awareness back. It is a huge help in the coaching.
Thanks for doing what you do