Helping men who feel something missing in their lives

The Disquiet in Men

Helping men who feel something missing in their lives

Dave Schoof

Helping you live in mid-life without a crisis

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Change your breath change your mind

April 29th, 2009, by Dave Schoof

A modern discussion of ancient prana breath techniques.  They are very good for changing moods, energizing, jet lag and the doldrums.  These two exercises may seem a little strange but they are very powerful and very portable!

Popularity: 3% [?]



Words of wisdom from Steve Jobs

November 29th, 2008, by Dave Schoof

Steve Jobs gave a commencement speech at Stanford University. I thought his wisdom applied very well to the struggle with the Disquiet.

“Stay hungry, stay foolish”

Popularity: 8% [?]



How to tune into the Disquiet

August 16th, 2008, by Dave Schoof

I talk a lot about the way to work with your Disquiet is to listen to its messages. Easier said than done! What’s the difference between your gut instincts or intuition and the old voices in your head telling you what you should and shouldn’t do?

When you are trying to figure out a course of action, it sometimes gets challenging to sort out all the messages swirling around in your head. How do I know I am not mistaking wisdom for laziness or plain old fear? How can I tell the difference between impulses and good judgment? How do I not mistake a message of making a change because I just don’t like something or is it the smart thing to do?

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Popularity: 12% [?]



Whatever you do, don’t do this (encore)

June 7th, 2008, by Dave Schoof

I have been getting a lot of emails lately from people sharing what they are doing in trying to work with their Disquiet. I found myself referring back to an article I had written a while ago. So I thought it might be helpful to dust it off and re-post it here.

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Ways not to handle your Disquiet

Working through your Disquiet is tricky. It is a very personal and isolating experience. Like transitions at other times of our life, navigating midlife is confusing and challenging. We are almost hard-wired with the thinking that if we are suffering, there must be a problem. And if there is a problem, it should be quickly figured out and resolved.

I have written a lot here how I believe what we have come to describe as the mid-life crisis (MLC) comes form ignoring the signals of the Disquiet. There is a lot of information out there on how to deal with your MLC, what to do and even think. There is not much written or said about what to watch for or avoid. Here are some tips from my learnings, personal experiences and from working with others.

Don’t do any of these regarding your Disquiet:

~Ignore it
~Jump into re-action
~Drug it
~Make fun of it
~Take it on alone

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Popularity: 16% [?]



A scientist and her stroke of insight

April 19th, 2008, by Dave Schoof

Here is a fascinating video of a talk by a brain neuroanatomist, Jill Bolte Taylor, who had a stroke. The scientist in her kicked in as she bore witness to what was happening to her. Inside the tragedy, she discovered some amazing insights about how the brain works and how it validates some of the spiritual principles of interconnectedness and even enlightenment.

How does this relate to the Disquiet? I think it adds an important perspective. Like near death experiences that wake someone up to the preciousness of life, her story is one of wonder, comfort and insight. As you wrestle with the big questions of who you are and what is this all about, take in this inspiring piece of additional information for your map.


Thanks to the blog TED, for the vid and info. Ted is a great blog who’s byline is “Ideas worth spreading”. Let me know your reactions and how this fits into your search.

Popularity: 21% [?]



Hit the “Pause” button

March 30th, 2008, by Dave Schoof

Have you had that experience of waking in the middle of the night worrying about your life and how it’s not going right? Isn’t it amazing how you can almost feel the acceleration of the thoughts and then the panic deep in your gut flash-ignites as more and more things swoosh through your brain like a locomotive picking up speed?

That’s the Disquiet talking.

And ever catch yourself the next day as you try to delete that horrible feeling by getting busier in the day. I know I have jumped into work and activities like a madman after a night of suffering from the whirlwind of worry and fear. Like getting busier is the antidote. I think deep down I clutch at the idea that if I am busy and productive, those fears won’t come back.

But something else happened – I’d hit a wall of Disquiet. I became very dissatisfied with what I was doing. I’d often feel like a fraud. Sometimes I got angry and impatient as I ran around going through the motions of accomplishment.

That’s the Disquiet hitting back.

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Popularity: 20% [?]