Comments on: What are the 5 things a woman desires in a man?

By: Dave Schoof

Dave Schoof — Sat, 05 May 2007 11:13:00 +0000

George - I think it’s such a trap to not do anything until I know everything I need to know or to make sure I won’t make a mistake. It reminds me of the days before power steering - it was easier to turn the wheel once the car was moving. It’s so much easier to course correct when we are in motion.

By: George

George — Thu, 03 May 2007 19:28:25 +0000

I started following a very similar set of rules for myself a long time ago. But I was afraid of making decisions and leading. When I corrected this, things really turned around for in all of my relationships; not just women. Your friends really respect the guy who will make decisions without doubt - and you quickly learn they would rather back your bad decision than your indecision.

By: Engaging the Disquiet » Blog Archive » Is Jack Bauer the role model for today’s man?

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By: Dave Schoof

Dave Schoof — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 14:56:16 +0000

Claire & Simone - great additions! Eliot if you are reading you might want to add these to your book!

By: Simonne

Simonne — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 13:49:29 +0000

Hi, I pretty much agree with your points, I want all these things from a man. But… there are two additional wishes which come on top of your list: listen to me and make me laugh.

By: Claire Celsi

Claire Celsi — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 15:04:31 +0000

I think the first 5 things that women want are a good start. Personally, I also want a man who takes a very active role in planning his own future (both relationships and financial) and someone who takes an active role in raising their children. Thanks for providing this forum.

By: Stuart Baker

Stuart Baker — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 15:11:26 +0000

Wonderful post, Dave.

For Leslie Williams (and others), how about asking a woman if she would like your take on an issue?

My delightfully spiritual girlfriend and I frequently discuss challenges we are personally facing with an eye towards clarity and growth. I find that to ask her if she would like to hear from me always yields a positive response. I also have a male friend with whom I equally share this type of respectful exchange, and we ALWAYS want to hear what the other is seeing.

And, both of these important people in my life feed me a ton of wisdom.

I spend part of my time doing mediation/negotiation and consulting, and I find that God, respectful questions are such a simple, powerful way into deeper conversation. Of course many people know this, but I just want to acknowledge it. Thanks.

By: Dave

Dave — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 11:21:37 +0000

For a similar article - click on my name

By: Dave Schoof

Dave Schoof — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 15:33:44 +0000

Thanks Leslie - I think you nailed the dilema and a source of major mis-steps in relationships.Â That urge to be the problem solver is such an automatic reponse.Â I am glad you like the site and the blog.Â Pls come back and contribute whenever you like.

By: Leslie Williams

Leslie Williams — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 15:16:06 +0000

Dave, as a woman and an executive coach of senior level women, I found this blog entry particularly interesting.

Speaking for myself - and informed by my female clients and friends - I would agree that women often want these five characteristics in men. For example, if we’re at the scene of a car accident, there is nothing more comforting than a man stepping in and taking charge. But here’s the difference, and it’s a big one:

When it’s OUR problem, we DON’T want you to take charge. We love your decisiveness at the scene of an accident. But at the scene of our own dilemmas, it feels patronizing and diminishing. I think that’s what is so confusing to men. When the issue is out in the world, we want your manliness. But when it comes to US, we want you to just listen, so that we can take our own leadership and make our own decisions.

Thanks for this great site and these really useful, thought-provoking blog entries.

By: Empowering Links: Week of 26th November - Life Coaches

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By: Dave Schoof

Dave Schoof — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:55:11 +0000

Thanks Chuck! You are so right - I am almost finished with Dieda’s book! I am planning to post it in my recommended recources section, but had to finish it first.
David Deida is terrific. I have been following his work for years through Ken Wilber’s intgeral work.

In fact you can see videos and articles with David on Ken’s site: http://www.intgeralnaked.org

By: Charles "Chuck" Cuyjet

Charles "Chuck" Cuyjet — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 16:24:05 +0000

Great synopsis. One may also want to check out David Deida’s book, The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire