One of the critical areas I focus on when working with a client is to help him establish what I call his “structures of support”. This means creating and maintaining processes, systems and people to support his new way of living as he emerges from his Disquiet.

If you read the biographies of successful leaders, you will discover that most of them had mentors and advisors in their lives. I formalize this with some of my clients by tasking them to create their own corporate board. Just as a CEO would have a group of people with a vested interest in how successful he or she is doing, you can do the same.

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When you start to get in touch with your Disquiet, you may feel the heaviness of dissatisfaction with how your life is not going the way you want. You want it to change. But change to what? You know what you don’t want, but what do you really want? It’s a tough question.

When I coach a man with Disquiet, one of the biggest chunks of work is getting clarity on what he wants. I don’t mean general goals or just a desire for a more satisfying life. What I mean are specific goals. This can be really hard for someone to identify for themselves without some outside help.

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One of the key elements I have found in my ongoing work with men and their Disquiet, is the strong desire to be doing work that makes a difference or matters. As we get older, we start realizing the things that seemed to mean so much to us in our early career building years just don’t seem to be as important. We start asking questions like, what else is there for me to do? How can I make a difference? Where do I find meaning? We start thinking about our legacy. How can we leave this place a bit better after our time here?

Acting on these questions often leads us to new ways of living and finding new communities to both support and be supported. We start meeting people who are asking the same questions and are each trying to do something that answers them.

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Important information about men and depression.

In the February 26 issue of Newsweek, there is an important cover feature on some of the latest findings about the nature of depression and how more men suffer from it than previously thought. The article has some important findings which I will outline here.

I am writing about this here because some of the key points are related to
Men’s Disquiet™. I want to be careful here. I am not saying that someone who is struggling with their Disquiet is clinically depressed. But the studies are now showing that not dealing with lengthy or severe stress can lead to depression.

Men who suffer from prolonged stress can become depressed. Not dealing with one’s Disquiet can be very stressful.

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As we begin a new month, I want to share what is out there for helpful resources for working with your Disquiet.

Liz Strauss, a great writer I regularly enjoy and a career coach I respect, wisely writes that everyone gets the same 24 hours. It’s what we do with it that counts. She has Ten Ways to Start Living Your Life. Great stuff! One that jumped out at me was #8:

I think this is a key skill and one that I make sure we are building as a competency when I work with my clients as they engage their Disquiet. Building that congruence between gut, heart and head is fundamental to living authentically and powerfully. Click to read more and enter the discussion »

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 Podcast [5:13m]: Play Now | Download

I am sitting in a computer room on break from leading training for a program that fast-tracks high potential grad school graduates into management positions in the federal government. I’m a faculty member for a 3-day intensive leadership program for them.

We had a great discussion today as we explored the challenges of working with cynicism and resignation in the workplace. These are young, very intelligent, immensely talented, energetic and idealistic people. As they move into their new roles, they sometimes get stopped in their tracks as they get exposed to the [tags]cynicism[/tags] in the workplace.

I listened to their stories of working for zombie bosses or with retired-in-place colleagues. It reminds me of when I have worked with senior leaders trying to lead their organization through change and how they often got stopped in their tracks by the resignation as well. Click to read more and enter the discussion »

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