One of the key elements I have found in my ongoing work with men and their Disquiet, is the strong desire to be doing work that makes a difference or matters. As we get older, we start realizing the things that seemed to mean so much to us in our early career building years just don’t seem to be as important. We start asking questions like, what else is there for me to do? How can I make a difference? Where do I find meaning? We start thinking about our legacy. How can we leave this place a bit better after our time here?

Acting on these questions often leads us to new ways of living and finding new communities to both support and be supported. We start meeting people who are asking the same questions and are each trying to do something that answers them.

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Forrest Whitaker gave a very inspiring acceptance speech at the Oscars.

This is a man who clearly has navigated his Disquiet. He speaks of his vocation as a way of connecting to the light that is in each of us. He is a bright light. He exemplifies a man who knows what he is about and his life work has lined up as an external expression of it.

You know at some deep level when you are in the presence or hear from a man who is
rock-solid about what he is living for. The kind of being that can only come from doing the hard work of struggling and then learning from his Disquiet. It’s a hard journey but you can see a great example of the benefits here.
You can see and hear the speech here. There is a brief scene of the movie for which he won the best actor and the speech follows.

You can read the text of his speech here, thanks to CK. And thanks to Dawud for turning me on to the speech.

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I had a meeting today with my friend, marketing adviser and website developer Dawud Miracle. By the way, he is very talented and a great guy. So if you ever need any help with your business or your website, he is the man. In addition, he is a pioneer in the world of blogging and how to harness it for your business.

Anyway, we discussed how to take advantage of this medium to provide more than just information. In addition to providing information about the Disquiet, I am also planning to provide the following:

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 Podcast [5:29m]: Play Now | Download

I think one of the main reasons we fail to make the big changes we want in our lives is because we think it’s about will power. We think to ourselves, “If I really want something different, I have to just do it.” And when it gets tough, I just have to try harder. And when it doesn’t work, I have must blame myself: “I didn’t try hard enough”. “I am not strong enough”. “I didn’t have enough will power.”

There are other things we occasionally like to blame: it was God’s will, it wasn’t meant to be, the universe didn’t answer, or I didn’t deserve it. Those are for other discussions.

Most of us, at one time of another, blame our lack of will or endurance for not getting to our goals.

It is not about will.

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And connecting at the same time!

I discovered an interesting brand-new website/blog called Only Human through the help of another great resource, LifeHack. This new site is a creative application of the social community phenomenon that is emerging on the Internet. This is how they describe themselves:

We Are Only Human is a web site dedicated to helping people from each other’s experiences. Only Human is a community where people share stories about mistakes they’ve made in life and their advice to others. Click to read more and enter the discussion »

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 Podcast [5:19m]: Play Now | Download

My sons are young men nearing 20 and 17. Some would say a dad’s influence and ability to teach their children anything at these ages is pretty much over. I disagree. There are still things to learn about life and about how to be good men.

There are not many rituals or other ways that society has to mark a boy’s transition into manhood these days. Being able to vote, serve in the military, and be prosecuted as an adult are pretty much the only markers of achieving adulthood. What about manhood? What is the rite of passage? And what transmission of knowledge about what it means to be a good man occurs? What is my role as a father to teach his boys how to be men? Click to read more and enter the discussion »

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