When you start to get in touch with your Disquiet, you may feel the heaviness of dissatisfaction with how your life is not going the way you want. You want it to change. But change to what? You know what you don’t want, but what do you really want? It’s a tough question.

When I coach a man with Disquiet, one of the biggest chunks of work is getting clarity on what he wants. I don’t mean general goals or just a desire for a more satisfying life. What I mean are specific goals. This can be really hard for someone to identify for themselves without some outside help.

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OK, so as I continue to spar and dance with my current surge of Disquiet, turning 50; I added some napalm to the fire:

From my good friend Wesley at LifeTwo.com (who I just interviewed here) comes this humbling piece of wisdom [Source: BoomerGirl.com]:

Even people in top shape need to recognize they’re not kids anymore, says Dr. John Morley, chief of geriatrics at St. Louis University School of Medicine. “You cannot be at 50 what you were at 30.”

Wesley wrote: “Fortunately, it’s not all bad news. Middle age adults and seniors are much stronger similarly aged people were three decades ago. Strides in health care and healthy lifestyles have made living past 50 much more active and fun.”

And there is a lot we can do. But what is actually happening to a 50 yr old bod? Dr Morley says plenty:

How does the body age? Here’s a quick summary of major aspects of aging:

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Forrest Whitaker gave a very inspiring acceptance speech at the Oscars.

This is a man who clearly has navigated his Disquiet. He speaks of his vocation as a way of connecting to the light that is in each of us. He is a bright light. He exemplifies a man who knows what he is about and his life work has lined up as an external expression of it.

You know at some deep level when you are in the presence or hear from a man who is
rock-solid about what he is living for. The kind of being that can only come from doing the hard work of struggling and then learning from his Disquiet. It’s a hard journey but you can see a great example of the benefits here.
You can see and hear the speech here. There is a brief scene of the movie for which he won the best actor and the speech follows.

You can read the text of his speech here, thanks to CK. And thanks to Dawud for turning me on to the speech.

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Important information about men and depression.

In the February 26 issue of Newsweek, there is an important cover feature on some of the latest findings about the nature of depression and how more men suffer from it than previously thought. The article has some important findings which I will outline here.

I am writing about this here because some of the key points are related to
Men’s Disquiet™. I want to be careful here. I am not saying that someone who is struggling with their Disquiet is clinically depressed. But the studies are now showing that not dealing with lengthy or severe stress can lead to depression.

Men who suffer from prolonged stress can become depressed. Not dealing with one’s Disquiet can be very stressful.

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Announcing the Family Support Series™!

This is a new feature that is included in my two premier coaching programs: Engaging the Disquiet Coaching Program and the Empty Success Program™. As part of their coaching, my clients learn how to support their families while they go through some pretty significant changes.

In other articles, I have talked about the stress on a family when someone undergoes any significant personal change. Most folks don’t think that self improvement work like that found in coaching programs, deep spiritual work, therapy and other endeavors could have a negative impact. It can.

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Is he it?

I read an interesting article from a blog I just discovered called Quiet Paws. It was so good I am presenting it in its entirety here (see below). A continuing issue that comes up in the interviews I am conducting with men from all over the world is the question, what does it mean to be a man today? I have written several posts around mens’ roles:

“Men look like jerks and wimps on TV”

Is being tough or sensitive a forced choice?

What are the 5 things a woman desires in a man?

Passing on your wisdom - what would you say?

Being a superhero can be disquieting

4 tips for dads with Disquiet

The article from Quiet Paws builds on this nicely. I don’t know whether Jack Bauer is the answer for the question of what it means to be a man. But it is interesting to see the pop icons that represent the changing roles.

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