Helping you live in mid-life without a crisis
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Can’t go back - and that’s good
As you become more aware of the Disquiet (articles about the Disquiet here) in your life and its costs to you and others, there is frequently a wish that you didn’t know about it. OR a greater desire to go back to “simpler times”. We all fantasize about the times when we weren’t suffering and life wasn’t so complicated or hard. I frequently get messages like this: Â
How do I get back to the person I was and really and truly enjoyed?  I use to love life, had a lot of fun, and truly enjoyed who I was. Very little of that still exists”
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I don’t know how to do that either. I find it’s more about developing - I can’t go back, only forward. Some things fall away to make room for new things. There is always discomfort in it but I am learning to trust the process.
I also trust that the core me, the essential self is always there no matter what. So the goal is moving towards a life and way of living that brings me not only what I longed for, but is better in that it matches who I am becoming and what I want.
In coaching, I often see my clients express amazement at what they create for themselves. They say it was beyond what they imagined possible. I think that happens for 2 reasons. Â
First, they could only see the world where they were at in the beginning. They could not see how profound the changes would be. They couldn’t. It’s like looking at the world through an old pair of glasses.Â
Second: they change. They are a different person at the end of a program. Their values, how they see the world and what they care for, all change.  The world has changed for them.
Think back on a major change in your life. Could you have ever predicted how it would turn out, how you would feel and the person you would become?Â
So chart your course forward. Listen to what your Disquiet has to tell you.  Keep growing. Keep looking forward. Intend to keep the best of your life as you move out creating the life you want. Don’t worry about the good old days.Â
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Tags: The Disquiet, Working with change, working with the Disquiet
August 25th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
This post reminded me of two quotes:
Prayer is not asking for what you think you want, but asking to be changed in ways you can’t imagine.
-Kathleen Norris
What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.
~ Richard Bach
On a different topic…I Stumbled you today, and it said I had discovered you. Hope you don’t mind, I wrote a brief review. I tagged it with psychology.
August 26th, 2007 at 12:16 am
Thanks Jean! I like these quotes!
And thanks for the review!
August 29th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
Great article, Dave. To me, disquiet is whatever spurs me on to move forward. Disquiet is a sign that I have gotten in a rut and gotten too comfortable. A sure sign that it is time to move forward is boredom with what where I am. Congratulations on being included in Priscilla Palmer’s Personal Development List.
September 1st, 2007 at 10:46 pm
Hi Patricia - I like that. I have the same experience. And I have let the fear of change or the unknown keep me stuck in it. I keep learning that one over and over