Comments on: Do you have good anger or bad anger? http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/do-you-have-good-anger-or-bad-anger/ A place for discussion and questions on articles, news and issues pertaining to navigating the unease in men's lives. Thu, 17 May 2012 09:09:45 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Sunday Reading - 4/2/2007 http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/do-you-have-good-anger-or-bad-anger/#comment-913 Sunday Reading - 4/2/2007 Sun, 01 Apr 2007 14:06:31 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/do-you-have-good-anger-or-bad-anger/#comment-913 [...] Emotions happen. They are as necessary to live as breathing, and serve as great an evaluative function as rationality in the realm of meaning. Anger, too, serves a purpose, but like any other emotion, when carried to extremes is self-defeating. In Do you have good anger or bad anger Dave Schoof of The Disquiet shows how to tell the difference between the two, and some of the things we can do to convert the bad to the good. [...] [...] Emotions happen. They are as necessary to live as breathing, and serve as great an evaluative function as rationality in the realm of meaning. Anger, too, serves a purpose, but like any other emotion, when carried to extremes is self-defeating. In Do you have good anger or bad anger Dave Schoof of The Disquiet shows how to tell the difference between the two, and some of the things we can do to convert the bad to the good. [...]

]]> By: Mark Silver http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/do-you-have-good-anger-or-bad-anger/#comment-897 Mark Silver Sat, 31 Mar 2007 15:45:08 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/do-you-have-good-anger-or-bad-anger/#comment-897 You're welcome, Dave. I can't express how important- critical- vital- the work you are doing is. You’re welcome, Dave. I can’t express how important- critical- vital- the work you are doing is.

]]> By: Dave Schoof http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/do-you-have-good-anger-or-bad-anger/#comment-894 Dave Schoof Sat, 31 Mar 2007 15:18:57 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/do-you-have-good-anger-or-bad-anger/#comment-894 Hey Mark - thanks for visting! Your experience is helpful in illustrating the point of healthy anger AND how hard it is for many of us to go there. Thanks you - and thanks for the link. NVC is a great model and I recommend it highly. Hey Mark - thanks for visting! Your experience is helpful in illustrating the point of healthy anger AND how hard it is for many of us to go there. Thanks you - and thanks for the link. NVC is a great model and I recommend it highly.

]]> By: Mark Silver http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/do-you-have-good-anger-or-bad-anger/#comment-780 Mark Silver Wed, 28 Mar 2007 05:10:21 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/do-you-have-good-anger-or-bad-anger/#comment-780 I love this article- it's so true. I realized relatively recently (the last 2-3 years) that it was okay to be angry. And, what I didn't understand, is that I had been scared of my anger- my own anger frightened me. This came to a head when I finally, finally just let loose and yelled at my wife, and she started laughing (because she grew up with anger in her family, it didn't freak her out) but I actually starting... sobbing with fear. I had scared myself! Since then I've come a long way with anger, and I can express it and even enjoy it, and then it's gone. Healthy, healthy. One way I've learned to express it I've learned from our Non-Violent Communication (NVC) teacher, Lashelle Charde http://www.wiseheartpdx.org - and that's to yell in NVC. Instead of yelling, for instance: "I hate you, you messed up." I can yell, "I'm feeling really angry!" Sounds simplistic, but it works. Thanks for bringing this up, Dave. It's an inspiring reminder to realize that something I struggled with for so long, now feels healthy. I love this article- it’s so true. I realized relatively recently (the last 2-3 years) that it was okay to be angry.

And, what I didn’t understand, is that I had been scared of my anger- my own anger frightened me.

This came to a head when I finally, finally just let loose and yelled at my wife, and she started laughing (because she grew up with anger in her family, it didn’t freak her out) but I actually starting… sobbing with fear.

I had scared myself!

Since then I’ve come a long way with anger, and I can express it and even enjoy it, and then it’s gone. Healthy, healthy.

One way I’ve learned to express it I’ve learned from our Non-Violent Communication (NVC) teacher, Lashelle Charde http://www.wiseheartpdx.org - and that’s to yell in NVC. Instead of yelling, for instance: “I hate you, you messed up.” I can yell, “I’m feeling really angry!”

Sounds simplistic, but it works.

Thanks for bringing this up, Dave. It’s an inspiring reminder to realize that something I struggled with for so long, now feels healthy.

]]>