Helping you live in mid-life without a crisis
Get post updates - RSS
Friend or Foe?
Is your Disquiet friend or foe?
Radar, sentries, surveillance and alarm systems are all set up to identify a “target†as friend or foe. If it’s an enemy, alarms go off and defenses are activated.
What about your Disquiet? Is that underground throb of unease in your life a friend or the enemy?
That is an important question because it determines what you do with it. A lot of us don’t like the pain and discomfort from the Disquiet so we identify it as “FOE†and act accordingly. It becomes something to be destroyed. The pain and uneasiness to be eradicated.
What if your Disquiet is your friend? What if it is actually a very sophisticated warning system in itself that is trying to tell you your life is out of whack?
What would happen if you treated your Disquiet as a trusted and reliable friend?
I have been suffering from Lyme Disease for a couple of years now. Now I am very fortunate. Many folks who contract Lymes are almost completely disabled and unable to lead a productive life. Yet it has been a significant struggle.
There have been times when I wanted to shake my fist at …life or God, I guess, and shout, “It’s not fair - this is not supposed to happen to me. I demand something be done about this”. I’ve been indignant and angry. I definitely held it (and sometimes still do) as the enemy. Something that needs to be destroyed.
But, for all the discomfort and occasional limitations, this illness has been a tremendous teacher.
I learned that I treated my body no different than my car. Keep it fueled, oiled and inflated and it would run forever. LOL – I ran out of oil long before the red light came on.
I have been forced to listen and learn what my body needs. I now know how to pay close attention to what I can and can’t do without gutting it out. This is a huge ongoing learning project. And a great gift.
In in the process, I am learning how to hold myself differently. I used to be all about giving for everyone else without consideration of the cost to me. No more. I am learning – slowly, but deeply, what it means to care for this body and cherish this time on the planet.
You can do the same with your Disquiet. In fact, that is the path. Your Disquiet is your friend. So as a friend, trust what it has to tell you. Your Disquiet has lots to tell if you ask and then listen. And every once in a while, be a pal and take it out for a beer.
Popularity: 6% [?]
Email This Post to a Friend or Save as a Bookmark
Tags: Life, The Disquiet, friend or foe, illness as teacher, ongoing learning
April 17th, 2007 at 9:28 pm
Good post. I also have a medical condition, not as serious as Lyme disease, but still it causes me to have a great problem with fatigue. It’s been a good teacher, though. I’ve learned to pace myself, as well as to appreciate the health that I still have. Thanks! Lee
April 17th, 2007 at 10:55 pm
It is an amazing teacher - when we listen.
April 18th, 2007 at 10:02 am
Great distinction, Dave.
I find that when I villify my “early warning signals,” it always costs me more down the road. Those signals aren’t a sign that something’s broken; they’re a sign that my systems are working!
It’s called Feedback.
I liked the way you communicated this, without judgment, too. That’s a big plus that I’m finding to be one of your gems, if I may say so…
April 18th, 2007 at 10:29 pm
Right! Well said. And isn’t it funny how we kill the messenger here as well!
Thanks Adam - I never caught that before. I do try. I appreciate the gift and will take it in.
May 16th, 2007 at 9:22 am
[...] This is especially true when working with your Disquiet. If you have hung around me, you already know that the way I recommend you to work with your Disquiet is to engage it - learn what it has to tell you in terms of how your life might be out of alignment with your deepest values. Once you know that, you can ’set a new course’. The sailing metaphor is helpful because you can use your Disquiet like a navigational tool. That can help you define a new way of seeing where you want to go and how you want to get there. The next step is ‘pack for the trip’. What new skills, resources and things to support you as you make this ‘journey’. [...]