Comments on: What if I think my husband is having a midlife crisis? Part 2 http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/husband_with_midlife_crisis_part_2/ A place for discussion and questions on articles, news and issues pertaining to navigating the unease in men's lives. Thu, 17 May 2012 09:31:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Dave Schoof http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/husband_with_midlife_crisis_part_2/#comment-15183 Dave Schoof Mon, 19 May 2008 08:25:16 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/husband_with_midlife_crisis_part_2/#comment-15183 Glenda, First, my deep sadness for you, your kids and your husband. You describe a heart breaking story that really paints the pain and suffering that can comes from how we deal with the Disquiet. Thank you for sharing this as it will serve others. Glenda,
First, my deep sadness for you, your kids and your husband. You describe a heart breaking story that really paints the pain and suffering that can comes from how we deal with the Disquiet.

Thank you for sharing this as it will serve others.

]]> By: Glenda http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/husband_with_midlife_crisis_part_2/#comment-14969 Glenda Tue, 13 May 2008 23:51:42 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/husband_with_midlife_crisis_part_2/#comment-14969 Last July I interviened an email from a woman in Mexico that my H was seeing. He said she was a companion but the email indicated more. He over the following week said he was tired and that he had feelings for her. He liked her joy and happy spirit. He was glad to be off the pedistal. I paniced and told my family. He later decided during that week that our marriage was over and that he was going to have an affair with her. He no longer could give me comittment. This lasted until he returned home and I served him divorce papers last December. He had asked for one and said he wanted his freedom. He had some kind of love for me but not the hold your hands kind and he had failed me. He wanted excitement, challange, take chances. Our marriage had become boring and predictable and he felt he was living in quick sand. He returned to live back here in May of this year. Living at his sister's home. The lawyers got involved and I did not want to negotiate the terms of the divorce with him. He sold his business and wants to go to England for 6 months to search for the love of his life. Presently he has a new girlfriend. He said to me "they are good when they are fresh". He has shoulder long hair, mercedes and E type Jag convertibles. He says that he is never coming back to me again and that someday I will see the honor in his decision. We have a 16 year old teenage son who is handling adolescence better than his father is acting now. My H father had affairs and caused him to have alopecia in high school. He hated him for his violent temper. I have read ALL the books. Suggested counselling but he does not see that anything is wrong and he sees no need in assistance. He wants to ride this out and go where the wind may blow him. He is verbally cruel and then apologetic. He has put our relationship of 18 years behind him and closed the book as he says. I fear that there is nothing that I can do and he did say that there was nothing I could have done or do now to change things. He said that he feels a gain in his life and not a loss. He lost his father 8 years ago after a heart transplant and then cancer 10 years later took him. His grandfather died 1 year ago and a close friend was killed 3 years ago in Mexico while he was working there. He said he had wanted out of the marriage for 2 years before the email that I found. I had no idea. He never communicated any concerns to me. The crew in Mexico all seemed to disolve their marriages and I hoped that this would be over when he returned and we could cancel the divorce or delay it. Sadly he has chosen this path and I have no recourse but to go on with my life and raise our son. He was a moral, caring, intellegent, man. He admits to changing and sees this as a great journey for himself. I can not help him and can only say that you have to do what makes you happy. It is unbelievable the change in him. I have to now sit back in the history of his life and watch possibly the demise of a wonderful man. G Last July I interviened an email from a woman in Mexico that my H was seeing. He said she was a companion but the email indicated more. He over the following week said he was tired and that he had feelings for her. He liked her joy and happy spirit. He was glad to be off the pedistal.
I paniced and told my family. He later decided during that week that our marriage was over and that he was going to have an affair with her. He no longer could give me comittment.
This lasted until he returned home and I served him divorce papers last December. He had asked for one and said he wanted his freedom. He had some kind of love for me but not the hold your hands kind and he had failed me. He wanted excitement, challange, take chances. Our marriage had become boring and predictable and he felt he was living in quick sand.
He returned to live back here in May of this year. Living at his sister’s home. The lawyers got involved and I did not want to negotiate the terms of the divorce with him. He sold his business and wants to go to England for 6 months to search for the love of his life. Presently he has a new girlfriend. He said to me “they are good when they are fresh”.
He has shoulder long hair, mercedes and E type Jag convertibles. He says that he is never coming back to me again and that someday I will see the honor in his decision.
We have a 16 year old teenage son who is handling adolescence better than his father is acting now.
My H father had affairs and caused him to have alopecia in high school. He hated him for his violent temper.
I have read ALL the books. Suggested counselling but he does not see that anything is wrong and he sees no need in assistance. He wants to ride this out and go where the wind may blow him.
He is verbally cruel and then apologetic. He has put our relationship of 18 years behind him and closed the book as he says.
I fear that there is nothing that I can do and he did say that there was nothing I could have done or do now to change things.
He said that he feels a gain in his life and not a loss. He lost his father 8 years ago after a heart transplant and then cancer 10 years later took him. His grandfather died 1 year ago and a close friend was killed 3 years ago in Mexico while he was working there.
He said he had wanted out of the marriage for 2 years before the email that I found.
I had no idea. He never communicated any concerns to me.
The crew in Mexico all seemed to disolve their marriages and I hoped that this would be over when he returned and we could cancel the divorce or delay it.
Sadly he has chosen this path and I have no recourse but to go on with my life and raise our son.
He was a moral, caring, intellegent, man.
He admits to changing and sees this as a great journey for himself.
I can not help him and can only say that you have to do what makes you happy.
It is unbelievable the change in him.
I have to now sit back in the history of his life and watch possibly the demise of a wonderful man.
G

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