Comments on: One of the key secrets to lasting change

By: Dave Schoof

Dave Schoof — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 19:23:07 +0000

Thanks Craig. Yes, that was the subject of the February newsletter. The focus was on how to support your family in supporting you through your change. The steps I outlined there are very applicable to the workplace as well.

By: Craig

Craig — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 18:47:26 +0000

Dave, I found your recent email about managing others through our change process particularly relevant to this topic. Years ago, I changed some of my thinking and started making some real changes, changes that not only addressed my Disquiet, but also, I felt, made me a better person. While I felt good about all this, those close to me pushed back and questioned me. I struggled with my feelings of rejection and questioned why everyone wasn’t as pleased with the results as myself. Dave, your four actions to help others deal with my change would have been a big help to me. I’ll put them into action in the future.

By: Deb

Deb — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 18:37:07 +0000

You are welcome! What has been really amazing is how the “hard work” isn’t actually *hard* when it is in sync with what really matters… or what I sometimes call the “big decision” (e.g., to care for my self/my body)… then the “little decisions” can so much more easily be made and followed through on, and noticed when off course, to use your navigation analogy. Because my big decision is based so much on how I want to feel, it is not hard to evaluate the little choices based on that principle: how will I *feel* if I go for a run or not? eat 3 donuts or 1 donut hole or none? take a rest day or not? pack my lunch or eat out? By tuning in to myself, and giving myself permission to learn the best choices for me through trial and error, I stay on track with an ease I never could have imagined under the old ways of thinking

By: Dave Schoof

Dave Schoof — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 21:26:19 +0000

Deb - your story is inspiring! Your examples of how yo changed your thinking is exactly what I was trying to describe. Congratulations on your hard work! And thank you for sharing this. It will help others.

By: Deb

Deb — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 13:38:50 +0000

I could not agree more! A few years ago, I freed myself from a 20 year struggle with my weight by changing how I thought about why I would eat well and move more (to *feel* well, to be *fit* for me and my family vs. looking “right”, being a “good” person), how I would do this (gently, kindly, flexibly, patiently… more as a tree farmer than a flower grower… and honouring what was fun and scrumptious to me), and my view of my shifts (e.g. I want to be “there” for my kids for decades to come, so me not being “there” for a few hours each weekend so I can workout fits with the big goal, and then there is less guilt as a full-time working parent). By changing my thinking, my habits could and do flow more naturally from that foundation… vs. the ultimate futility and frustration of the willpower model. In my work as a therapist and coach, this comes up as a crucial paradigm shift every day… our culture is very very hung up on “will power” and quick fixes. Great entry, Dave!