Helping you live in mid-life without a crisis
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Making the big change - stories from the front
If you haven’t been to LifeTwo.com for while, I recommend a visit. Wesley and Greg have done an amazing job of building a information-packed community center dealing with midlife issues in all its forms. The subject of changing careers recently came up. Wesley writes:
“Changing careers in middle age is very different than in the life periods before or after. Middle age is traditionally the peak earning period in most people’s careers. It is the time when workers achieve their highest rank, their fattest salaries, and their most prestigious achievements. But it’s also the time that we have perspective on what makes us happy and if our current career path doesn’t entail sufficient satisfaction (or future promise), then for many of us it’s time to make a change.
This is the dilemma I hear from many of my clients. I experienced it myself: A deep itch to change directions but the prospect is terrifying. Some ultimately jump, some don’t. The ones that follow their calling (myself included) don’t have an easy time of it. But most of us experience feeling more aligned and more alive than before.
Those that don’t change, well, some have to deaden their pain to be able to keep plodding. The golden handcuffs of nearing retirement or just needing to feel safe keep their hearts in check.
Wesley has a call out for stories of real experiences. Check them out - reports from the trenches of changing careers. It’s aptly titled, ” The good, bad and ugly“. Add your own .
And let us know what you think! What is going on for you?
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Tags: The Disquiet, Working with change, Work, working with the Disquiet, profiles of men working the Disquiet
March 4th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Life at any time offers us challenges. Either we play it safe, stay within our comfort zone and avoid the fear that lingers or we are willing to take risks, live with purpose and passion and snub our nose at fear.
Moment to moment we can live freely and courageously.
Good stuff happening at this blog.
I am middle aged person who started blogging and being a social activist and at the same time becoming a more conscious and compassionate human being.
Joseph
www.ExploreLifeBlog.com
www.Peace-Together.com
March 8th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Thanks Joseph! Welcome!
April 16th, 2008 at 4:27 am
I often hear people say that redundancy was the best thing that happend to them because it pushed them at a time when they were stagnating but didnt have the courage to leave the successfull and well paid job. Thats the problem for many, looking at the pay check, checking it against their outgoings and thinking, “I can’t afford to leave this job and go do something else” .
If these guys would only give up their (and their family’s) expensive habits and focus on the fact that they only have one life, and its running out, I doubt if most would continue.
Cheers Dave, nice to have found you.
My Midlife Thoughts Here.
April 16th, 2008 at 5:06 am
[…] I have been inspired to write when I noticed Dave Schoof’s article ‘Making the big change - stories from the front’ . Here is a brief summary to start things off. When its my turn to talk about me, it can feel overwhelming to bring up all the details and what exactly happend, so I’m hoping to start with a summary and add to this series by adding in detail when I can .. or feel like it! […]
May 29th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
hi new to this whole idea but have a lot of nagging doubts why not just downsize to a very simple life? who really needs so much stuff i bet most on a good salary at 50 years of age could survive on alot less but have an inbuilt need to keep providing things for dependendants who can provide perfectly well for themselves but we are still hunter gatherers and must bring home the bacon or new car house extension etc its time to start thinking about people who really need your time like yourself!!
May 30th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Hi Senior 999. Yes time is the new scarce resource. Thanks for the thoughts.
Cheers
June 9th, 2008 at 5:06 am
If you have struggled to find your niche at any time as a man, and felt out of step with who you really are at home, work and in your community its because you are a Man Servant living in the modern world.
You see you were designed to climb from under a rock at daybreak, sniff the air for possible dangers to you and your family, drink from a stream and meet up with your fellow men to go out hunting for the things required by the people you care about, young and old.
In your own way you are doing that but for the most part in isolation from your fellow men. Forced to compete in a one – to – one for everything goes against the grain and builds resentment. Not only that but losing this contact with men’s groups – your fellow hunters builds a deeper frustration and you simply don’t know why.
You might be active in a sports club however, team sports, physical games etc. and feel very little of this as a consequence. Congratulations, you have found an outlet. But most men will only have the time and resources to pursue these ‘hobbies’ for an hour or two per week, The rest of the time Man Servant steps back in line.
Happiness is in the struggle however and building a business, nurturing a home and family gets you out of bed to sniff the air in the morning. Your hunting clothes are your overalls or your suite and once on you might be prepared to meet any threat that comes your way.
But the feeling of disconnect will return because Man Servant must go on being the prominent provider even to the point of feeling trapped or stuck in a rut. As he gains experience, Man Servant may find he is the most qualified, respected, successful man in his field but through time unfortunately feels there is still a great deal missing from his life. He may indeed have it all but his church and his colleagues cannot fill the gaps.
With luck his family and friends succeed for him where others fail. His children will be the greatest joy in his life and his partner his greatest friend. If they don’t make the grade for whatever reason and whomever is complicit in this failure he may up very lost indeed.
The truth is however Man Servant, even though he feels more isolated than any previous generation, will live to become just a man again with all the love and support he deserves. Luckily, I did.
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