Comments on: Making the big change - stories from the front http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/making-the-big-change-stories-from-the-front/ A place for discussion and questions on articles, news and issues pertaining to navigating the unease in men's lives. Mon, 08 Sep 2008 06:15:16 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Mike Sheridan http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/making-the-big-change-stories-from-the-front/#comment-15473 Mike Sheridan Mon, 09 Jun 2008 09:06:57 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/making-the-big-change-stories-from-the-front/#comment-15473 If you have struggled to find your niche at any time as a man, and felt out of step with who you really are at home, work and in your community its because you are a Man Servant living in the modern world. You see you were designed to climb from under a rock at daybreak, sniff the air for possible dangers to you and your family, drink from a stream and meet up with your fellow men to go out hunting for the things required by the people you care about, young and old. In your own way you are doing that but for the most part in isolation from your fellow men. Forced to compete in a one – to – one for everything goes against the grain and builds resentment. Not only that but losing this contact with men’s groups – your fellow hunters builds a deeper frustration and you simply don’t know why. You might be active in a sports club however, team sports, physical games etc. and feel very little of this as a consequence. Congratulations, you have found an outlet. But most men will only have the time and resources to pursue these ‘hobbies’ for an hour or two per week, The rest of the time Man Servant steps back in line. Happiness is in the struggle however and building a business, nurturing a home and family gets you out of bed to sniff the air in the morning. Your hunting clothes are your overalls or your suite and once on you might be prepared to meet any threat that comes your way. But the feeling of disconnect will return because Man Servant must go on being the prominent provider even to the point of feeling trapped or stuck in a rut. As he gains experience, Man Servant may find he is the most qualified, respected, successful man in his field but through time unfortunately feels there is still a great deal missing from his life. He may indeed have it all but his church and his colleagues cannot fill the gaps. With luck his family and friends succeed for him where others fail. His children will be the greatest joy in his life and his partner his greatest friend. If they don’t make the grade for whatever reason and whomever is complicit in this failure he may up very lost indeed. The truth is however Man Servant, even though he feels more isolated than any previous generation, will live to become just a man again with all the love and support he deserves. Luckily, I did. Posted at 01:08 PM in Bringing home the bacon | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack If you have struggled to find your niche at any time as a man, and felt out of step with who you really are at home, work and in your community its because you are a Man Servant living in the modern world.

You see you were designed to climb from under a rock at daybreak, sniff the air for possible dangers to you and your family, drink from a stream and meet up with your fellow men to go out hunting for the things required by the people you care about, young and old.

In your own way you are doing that but for the most part in isolation from your fellow men. Forced to compete in a one – to – one for everything goes against the grain and builds resentment. Not only that but losing this contact with men’s groups – your fellow hunters builds a deeper frustration and you simply don’t know why.

You might be active in a sports club however, team sports, physical games etc. and feel very little of this as a consequence. Congratulations, you have found an outlet. But most men will only have the time and resources to pursue these ‘hobbies’ for an hour or two per week, The rest of the time Man Servant steps back in line.

Happiness is in the struggle however and building a business, nurturing a home and family gets you out of bed to sniff the air in the morning. Your hunting clothes are your overalls or your suite and once on you might be prepared to meet any threat that comes your way.

But the feeling of disconnect will return because Man Servant must go on being the prominent provider even to the point of feeling trapped or stuck in a rut. As he gains experience, Man Servant may find he is the most qualified, respected, successful man in his field but through time unfortunately feels there is still a great deal missing from his life. He may indeed have it all but his church and his colleagues cannot fill the gaps.

With luck his family and friends succeed for him where others fail. His children will be the greatest joy in his life and his partner his greatest friend. If they don’t make the grade for whatever reason and whomever is complicit in this failure he may up very lost indeed.

The truth is however Man Servant, even though he feels more isolated than any previous generation, will live to become just a man again with all the love and support he deserves. Luckily, I did.

Posted at 01:08 PM in Bringing home the bacon | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

]]> By: Dave Schoof http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/making-the-big-change-stories-from-the-front/#comment-15356 Dave Schoof Sat, 31 May 2008 00:51:29 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/making-the-big-change-stories-from-the-front/#comment-15356 Hi Senior 999. Yes time is the new scarce resource. Thanks for the thoughts. Cheers Hi Senior 999. Yes time is the new scarce resource. Thanks for the thoughts.
Cheers

]]> By: senior999 http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/making-the-big-change-stories-from-the-front/#comment-15334 senior999 Thu, 29 May 2008 18:47:25 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/making-the-big-change-stories-from-the-front/#comment-15334 hi new to this whole idea but have a lot of nagging doubts why not just downsize to a very simple life? who really needs so much stuff i bet most on a good salary at 50 years of age could survive on alot less but have an inbuilt need to keep providing things for dependendants who can provide perfectly well for themselves but we are still hunter gatherers and must bring home the bacon or new car house extension etc its time to start thinking about people who really need your time like yourself!! hi new to this whole idea but have a lot of nagging doubts why not just downsize to a very simple life? who really needs so much stuff i bet most on a good salary at 50 years of age could survive on alot less but have an inbuilt need to keep providing things for dependendants who can provide perfectly well for themselves but we are still hunter gatherers and must bring home the bacon or new car house extension etc its time to start thinking about people who really need your time like yourself!!

]]> By: How Midlife Crisis Story | Self-Esteem Low? Depression Getting You Down? Infidelity Leading You To Divorce? You Might Be In Your Midlife Crisis! http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/making-the-big-change-stories-from-the-front/#comment-13977 How Midlife Crisis Story | Self-Esteem Low? Depression Getting You Down? Infidelity Leading You To Divorce? You Might Be In Your Midlife Crisis! Wed, 16 Apr 2008 09:06:13 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/making-the-big-change-stories-from-the-front/#comment-13977 [...] I have been inspired to write when I noticed Dave Schoof’s article ‘Making the big change - stories from the front’ . Here is a brief summary to start things off. When its my turn to talk about me, it can feel overwhelming to bring up all the details and what exactly happend, so I’m hoping to start with a summary and add to this series by adding in detail when I can .. or feel like it! [...] [...] I have been inspired to write when I noticed Dave Schoof’s article ‘Making the big change - stories from the front’ . Here is a brief summary to start things off. When its my turn to talk about me, it can feel overwhelming to bring up all the details and what exactly happend, so I’m hoping to start with a summary and add to this series by adding in detail when I can .. or feel like it! [...]

]]> By: Guy at midlife http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/making-the-big-change-stories-from-the-front/#comment-13976 Guy at midlife Wed, 16 Apr 2008 08:27:46 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/making-the-big-change-stories-from-the-front/#comment-13976 I often hear people say that redundancy was the best thing that happend to them because it pushed them at a time when they were stagnating but didnt have the courage to leave the successfull and well paid job. Thats the problem for many, looking at the pay check, checking it against their outgoings and thinking, "I can't afford to leave this job and go do something else" . If these guys would only give up their (and their family's) expensive habits and focus on the fact that they only have one life, and its running out, I doubt if most would continue. Cheers Dave, nice to have found you. <a href="http://www.discoveraid.com" rel="nofollow">My Midlife Thoughts Here.</a> I often hear people say that redundancy was the best thing that happend to them because it pushed them at a time when they were stagnating but didnt have the courage to leave the successfull and well paid job. Thats the problem for many, looking at the pay check, checking it against their outgoings and thinking, “I can’t afford to leave this job and go do something else” .

If these guys would only give up their (and their family’s) expensive habits and focus on the fact that they only have one life, and its running out, I doubt if most would continue.

Cheers Dave, nice to have found you.

My Midlife Thoughts Here.

]]> By: Dave Schoof http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/making-the-big-change-stories-from-the-front/#comment-12748 Dave Schoof Sun, 09 Mar 2008 03:35:46 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/making-the-big-change-stories-from-the-front/#comment-12748 Thanks Joseph! Welcome! Thanks Joseph! Welcome!

]]> By: Joseph Bernard http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/making-the-big-change-stories-from-the-front/#comment-12571 Joseph Bernard Tue, 04 Mar 2008 22:01:31 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/making-the-big-change-stories-from-the-front/#comment-12571 Life at any time offers us challenges. Either we play it safe, stay within our comfort zone and avoid the fear that lingers or we are willing to take risks, live with purpose and passion and snub our nose at fear. Moment to moment we can live freely and courageously. Good stuff happening at this blog. I am middle aged person who started blogging and being a social activist and at the same time becoming a more conscious and compassionate human being. Joseph www.ExploreLifeBlog.com www.Peace-Together.com Life at any time offers us challenges. Either we play it safe, stay within our comfort zone and avoid the fear that lingers or we are willing to take risks, live with purpose and passion and snub our nose at fear.

Moment to moment we can live freely and courageously.

Good stuff happening at this blog.

I am middle aged person who started blogging and being a social activist and at the same time becoming a more conscious and compassionate human being.

Joseph

http://www.ExploreLifeBlog.com
http://www.Peace-Together.com

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