Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you were working, you just weren’t showing up all that great? I have. I’ve worked on projects where I felt cursed. The best of me just couldn’t surface. It was like doing everything with one hand tied behind my back and my shoes on backwards.

Or where all of a sudden you felt like you were the only one left on the planet after some sci-fi disaster turned everyone else into zombies? I have. There are times when I feel like no one really understood me.  I felt small and ineffectual.

I believe this is what happens when we don’t have enough of the people and things in our lives that reflect back to us the best part of ourselves. There is nothing like engaging in great creative brainstorming sessions with colleagues who really value your talents. Or hanging with friends who just get you and you can feel that deep in your gut.

For me, when I am feeling lost and isolated, it’s usually a signal I am living too fast to stay connected with my loved ones and the things that remind me of me.

We need mirrors in our lives. We need to keep the people and situations around us that remind us of who we are, what our gifts are and the difference we make in the lives of others.  And if they aren’t there, we have to create them.

Liz Strauss is a very talented writer, career coach and business strategist. I respect her work and think of her as a friend. She recently shared this amazing practice:

“When I talk in front of a group I need to be sure someone, at least some one, has a little faith in me.

So, before I begin, I’ve learned to just ask. I pick a person I met that morning, or someone I don’t know very well, Let’s say it’s a man named, Fred.

I’ll take a sip of water. Then I’ll ask, “Fred, before I start, do you have faith in me?”

That Fred always says something like, “Why yes, Liz, I do.”

That affirmation makes a difference. This shy girl is ready to go when someone has a little faith in me.

Things get better when we have faith in each other. Not blind faith, but faith we earn and faith we invest. Faith is a cornerstone to a relationship. Faith is believing what we can’t see yet.”

That was a very creative practice.  It puts a mirror in place where she most needs it.

When you are feeling lost or just not in your flow, look around.  Are there any reflections of your greatness coming back at you?

If not, you may need to do these things:

1.  Get back into relationship with those people and things in your life who serve as your mirrors.

2.  If you don’t have them, get mirrors in place.  That means invest in your relationships.  Make sure they can see you and you know what they see.  Get back to (or start) doing things  that remind you of who you are (hobbies, activities, work that matters, being in nature, etc).

3.  Look for places where you need that boost - I call them the “tactical mirrors”.  Just like Liz did.