Helping men who feel something missing in their lives

The Disquiet in Men

Helping men who feel something missing in their lives

Resource Roundup for the first week of February

As we begin a new month, I want to share what is out there for helpful resources for working with your Disquiet.

Liz Strauss, a great writer I regularly enjoy and a career coach I respect, wisely writes that everyone gets the same 24 hours. It’s what we do with it that counts. She has Ten Ways to Start Living Your Life. Great stuff! One that jumped out at me was #8:

  • Learn the physical symptoms of when your head and heart become disconnected. We know when we’re having a knee jerk reaction, when we’re feeling sorry for ourselves, and when we’re being blind to people’s feelings. We can remember how it felt physically while we were behaving badly. Get to know those symptoms, and you can stop the behavior. Living life will feel a whole lot safer because you won’t be in danger of shooting yourself in the foot.

I think this is a key skill and one that I make sure we are building as a competency when I work with my clients as they engage their Disquiet. Building that congruence between gut, heart and head is fundamental to living authentically and powerfully.

How do you find, or re-discover, the passion in your work? This is an issue that frequently comes up with my clients. Men who were once very passionate about their work now feel like zombies. They can’t get re-connected to that fire. For some, it’s actually been snuffed out. When some start to look at going in a new direction, they no long have an internal compass that tells them they are om the right track. How can you know if a particular job “feels” right when nothing lights you up? Here are two articles from Smart Lemming on passion:

Lori Grant, a strong thinker about leadership and a favorite of mine, writes, ” My point is this: passion is something that you find in the oddest places sometimes during the journey. It’s rarely a destination.” Read more in her article.

She goes on to provide an approach she refined that is very direct. It focuses on 3 actions: Steps to “decode” your mood, a way to get calm and centered, and finally creating an effective strategy.

She says “If you don’t have a job or are just starting out, know that passion takes time to find so focus on getting your first job or second job so you can be exposed to more types of skills. Passion isn’t required for a job. Self-confidence is and properly representing yourself in an interview is.” Read the article.

Moving to another aspect of the Disquiet: Could one of the reasons for your Disquiet be physical? In midlife, is there such a thing as a male version of menopause? Apparently yes! It’s actually called andropause. LifeTwo, the best resource for information about the midlife crisis has a great article about this by Wesley.

He says, “like women’s menopause, andropause does not need to be a time of gloom and doom. It’s real (to the tune of tens of millions of men) and it’s treatable. He cited the fact that in 2005, 2,300,000 prescriptions were written for testosterone with millions of more men receiving other forms of treatment and healing. In short, he says that it’s real, it’s treatable, and most notably, it’s not the end of our lives.” Here’s the article.

Shifting now to the Disquiet in relationships: Did you know that 51% of women in the U.S. are now living without a spouse?!?! Laura Young, a coach, who’s writings around relationships I really respect, gives the Top Ten Reasons Your Relationship May Fail.. These reasons are hard hitting and dead-on. Read them!

And finally, from Cultivate Greatness, a blog I recently discovered and really like, comes an interesting article on how to work with fear. It’s an unusual angle.

The author writes, “You must think about and concentrate on what it is you want, NOT on what you do not want. If you have a fear of poverty, or sickness, etc., then focus on the opposite of those fears. Replace those old worn out beliefs with new constructive ideas. It is very important to remember that thoughts are causes and conditions are effects.”

In concept, I agree that is a strong beginning step. That is a good foundation. But, there is more to do in working with fear. I will be writing about that.

I hope you find these resources helpful. Thanks to all of these great blogs. I enjoy searching and sharing what I find for help in working with Disquiet. Please let me know what you think. You can comment below!

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2 Responses to “Resource Roundup for the first week of February”

  1. Liz Strauss Says:

    Hi Dave,
    Thank you for your kind words and for sharing my work with your readers. That number 8 is one of my favorites on that list too. A wise friend taught it to me. I think of her often and see her when I can. :0
    Thank you again.

  2. Lori Grant Says:

    Hi Dave, thanks for sharing your thoughts on passion in work with your readers. It’s alway wonderful to cross paths with your passion during the journey. Being alert and open to its little, sometimes subtle signals helps too! 🙂


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