Helping you live in mid-life without a crisis
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Starting with yourself
“But what can I do?”
That question comes up a lot in my life. I often ask it of myself as I read a headline describing a condition in the world I want to change, but it feels too big for just me to have much of an impact.
My sons have each taken turns asking that question out of frustration when they are confronted with seeing a possibility that they feel is beyond them.
My clients ask it in the midst of their Disquiet. They know in their bones, something needs to change. As they work with me, they learn it’s about listening and learning from their Disquiet. Others want change to ease the pain of their unease.
In all of these cases, the mistake is to look outward. “What can I do to change “X” out in the world?
The place to look is inside. What can I do to change about myself?, or How is this view I hold causing my suffering? This is the place to start. It doesn’t END with the question, the process to making lasting change, the kind of change that does make a difference in the world STARTS with that kind of question.
You saw in the previous post Reid in his video talking about his experience with the Mankind Project (MKP), a weekend training that I believe does an excellent job working with men to find themselves. In a blog detailing another man’s personal experiences with MKP, I read this:
From bibbledy bloggeldy:
“I was attracted to the ManKind Project because their motto is “saving the world one man at a time” which seems to me like a very good focus. I have found that the way to stay focused on this goal is to start each day looking down and begin by saving myself, which takes only nanoseconds at this point in my understanding, and then focus the love out through the eyes to the shining faces of everyone that crosses your view throughout the day. Those who catch the glance and return it are yours to love.
So the next time you get exasperated with the wars, inequalities and suffering in the world and quip “but what can I do?”, look inside.
Start working with the violence, harsh judgments and suffering that is inside you. That is how to engage your Disquiet. Work that and you will change what is happening in your life and in the world.
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Tags: The Disquiet, Working with change, change, learning, mankind project, what can I do
December 7th, 2006 at 6:58 am
Excellent point!
As I said in my interview with you, one of the most powerful things that I did was to read and apply Robert A. Johnson’s “Inner Work”.
I journal every day — in writing and audio.
It is a great way to find out what’s going on — Inside!
Lyle
December 7th, 2006 at 9:53 am
Hi Lyle,
You are right - the act of writing seems to really bring to the surface so much more than just reflecting on something.
It is a powerful tool for knowing what is inside and what needs to be worked with. Thanks!