A couple of days ago, I wrote about the importance of humility in working with your Disquiet (here).Â One of the comments to the article came from a friend and respected colleague Adam Kayce from Monk at Work.Â He wrote:
Itâ€™s interesting to hear that one of the most frequent questions you hear is, â€œWhatâ€™s wrong with me?â€ Especially when, from my perspective, thereâ€™s not anything necessarily wrong at all.
Being hungry isnâ€™t wrong; itâ€™s a sign. Youâ€™re noticing the absence of something (food) in your life.
Thatâ€™s how I, on a very simplified level, see achings like the Disquiet â€” as a sign. Somethingâ€™s absent. Not wrong.
Anyhow, I think humility is key, too. For me, humility is about stripping away what we thought and assumed, to be open to what is.
And I think thatâ€™s a prerequisite to what you said, about being willing to look at whatâ€™s raw, and go through the all-too-necessary awkward phase.
Adam hit on something really important.Â It is true that most of the men I’ve interviewed reported feeling their Disquiet was a sign of something being wrong with them.Â And I had that experience myself when I first struggled with it in my life.Â Adam describes the Disquiet being similar to being hungry is dead on.Â It is a hunger. Â Â A hunger to live life in alignment with your deepest values and longings.
This is the first major discovery a man makes when he starts to really work with his Disquiet.Â It takes some time, effort, and yes humility.
As you begin to really look into the Disquiet in your life, hold on to the idea, what if there is nothing wrong?Â See how that might help the inquiry.
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Tags: The Disquiet, working with the Disquiet