Comments on: Whatever you do, Don’t do this http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/ A place for discussion and questions on articles, news and issues pertaining to navigating the unease in men's lives. Mon, 21 May 2012 18:19:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Dave Schoof http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-2430 Dave Schoof Thu, 12 Jul 2007 20:11:45 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-2430 Thanks Denise.  I am so sorry to hear about your difficulties.  I think your giving him room is wise.  There is a challenging balance to giving room and showing support.  Here is  a <a target="_blank" href="http://www.thedisquiet.com/category/for-women/" rel="nofollow">link to a couple of articles</a> I hope might help.  Also, make sure you are getting support for you! Good luck! Dave Thanks Denise.  I am so sorry to hear about your difficulties.  I think your giving him room is wise.  There is a challenging balance to giving room and showing support.  Here is  a link to a couple of articles I hope might help.  Also, make sure you are getting support for you!

Good luck!

Dave

]]> By: Denise http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-2429 Denise Thu, 12 Jul 2007 16:59:12 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-2429 Great articles..My husband of 14 years told me last night he didn't know if he loved me anymore, didn't know how he felt and that he just wanted to "exist". Last October, we moved from the states to Costa Rica. He continued to work for the same company he worked for in the states (just remotely). He was making $30K per year. Approximately 1 month ago, they decided there wasn't enough work for him to do so he no longer works there. He is working at a real estate company making $900 per month plus commission. He says he doesn't know if he wants a divorce or not but wants us to be apart for awhile. Our house in under construction here in the mountains of Grecia in Costa Rica. I have family and friends in Houston, Texas and I am definitely considering moving back for awhile and getting a job. I want to give him the space he needs. I would appreciate some advice. Thank you. Great articles..My husband of 14 years told me last night he didn’t know if he loved me anymore, didn’t know how he felt and that he just wanted to “exist”. Last October, we moved from the states to Costa Rica. He continued to work for the same company he worked for in the states (just remotely). He was making $30K per year. Approximately 1 month ago, they decided there wasn’t enough work for him to do so he no longer works there. He is working at a real estate company making $900 per month plus commission. He says he doesn’t know if he wants a divorce or not but wants us to be apart for awhile. Our house in under construction here in the mountains of Grecia in Costa Rica. I have family and friends in Houston, Texas and I am definitely considering moving back for awhile and getting a job. I want to give him the space he needs. I would appreciate some advice. Thank you.

]]> By: Dave Schoof http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-1125 Dave Schoof Sun, 08 Apr 2007 23:31:46 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-1125 Hi Lee, Yeah 49 is right there - welcome :-) I know what you mean LOL - I'm still a 21 yr old geek trying to figure out what he wants to do when he grows up. Who knows, maybe its just one long rite of passage called life that we call a crisis! Hi Lee,
Yeah 49 is right there - welcome :-)
I know what you mean LOL - I’m still a 21 yr old geek trying to figure out what he wants to do when he grows up. Who knows, maybe its just one long rite of passage called life that we call a crisis!

]]> By: lee http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-1124 lee Sun, 08 Apr 2007 19:14:57 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-1124 Great post! I'm middle-aged. (Does 49 qualify?) My problem is I haven't quit going through my first crisis. I guess I'll hit the MLQ when I'm about 70. Great post! I’m middle-aged. (Does 49 qualify?) My problem is I haven’t quit going through my first crisis. I guess I’ll hit the MLQ when I’m about 70.

]]> By: Dave Schoof http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-627 Dave Schoof Thu, 22 Mar 2007 22:28:21 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-627 Camille - you hit the key. I think it is critical - and counter-intuitive to directly engage the Disquiet. It's like putting your head in the mouth of the tiger isn't it. Thanks for your kind words. I think it's important for men to know that working on themselves isn't a sign of weakness, but of strength. And it can be done in a way that is honoring and not diminishing. Camille - you hit the key. I think it is critical - and counter-intuitive to directly engage the Disquiet. It’s like putting your head in the mouth of the tiger isn’t it.

Thanks for your kind words. I think it’s important for men to know that working on themselves isn’t a sign of weakness, but of strength. And it can be done in a way that is honoring and not diminishing.

]]> By: Camille Crawford http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-624 Camille Crawford Thu, 22 Mar 2007 16:23:35 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-624 Dave, For sure this is the greatest advice I've seen given for men. Or for women. I'm not coming from a place where I'm looking to help or support a man in my life. I'm coming from a place where I've been facing my own 'disquiet' as you call it. It's really only disquiet if you are not in touch with your inner life. But I'm so happy to hear that the 'stigma' of self-discovery is being removed from a man's journey to finding himself. For me, I've been searching all my life to find a man that had a clue to who he was. Thank you for bringing this process into the light for men. Camille <a href="http://nowcamillecrawford.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">NOW</a> Dave,

For sure this is the greatest advice I’ve seen given for men. Or for women. I’m not coming from a place where I’m looking to help or support a man in my life. I’m coming from a place where I’ve been facing my own ‘disquiet’ as you call it. It’s really only disquiet if you are not in touch with your inner life. But I’m so happy to hear that the ’stigma’ of self-discovery is being removed from a man’s journey to finding himself. For me, I’ve been searching all my life to find a man that had a clue to who he was. Thank you for bringing this process into the light for men.

Camille NOW

]]> By: Dave Schoof http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-66 Dave Schoof Mon, 18 Dec 2006 01:57:32 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-66 What Else Should I Not Do?... In the previous post I outlined things to avoid doing when working with your MLC. I went into detail on the first two. They are don't: ~~ignore it ~~jump into re-action Today, I will do into detail on the rest. Don't: ~~drug it ~~make... What Else Should I Not Do?…

In the previous post I outlined things to avoid doing when working with your MLC. I went into detail on the first two. They are don’t:
~~ignore it
~~jump into re-action
Today, I will do into detail on the rest. Don’t:
~~drug it
~~make…

]]> By: North Star Mental Fitness Blog http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-64 North Star Mental Fitness Blog Fri, 15 Dec 2006 12:52:16 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-64 <strong>Signals...</strong> Living life would be so much easier if people had a Life Gauge in the middle of their forehead. Just imagine how easy life would be. Wouldn't it be great to look in a mirror and immediately know if you... Signals…

Living life would be so much easier if people had a Life Gauge in the middle of their forehead. Just imagine how easy life would be. Wouldn’t it be great to look in a mirror and immediately know if you…

]]> By: Dave http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-60 Dave Thu, 14 Dec 2006 16:52:59 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-60 Thanks Dr Hal.  It is fascinating looking into the undercurrent and not just at the symptoms and problems that show up. I think that leads to more lasting and effective change as well. I get a sense that is how you work as well from visiting your blog. Thanks! Thanks Dr Hal.  It is fascinating looking into the undercurrent and not just at the symptoms and problems that show up. I think that leads to more lasting and effective change as well. I get a sense that is how you work as well from visiting your blog. Thanks!

]]> By: Dr. Hal http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-59 Dr. Hal Thu, 14 Dec 2006 11:30:23 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-59 Dave, One of the best articles I have ever read on MLC. Looking to fix the Disquiet as the solution rather than dwelling on the signals is brilliant. Dave,

One of the best articles I have ever read on MLC. Looking to fix the Disquiet as the solution rather than dwelling on the signals is brilliant.

]]> By: Dave Schoof http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-57 Dave Schoof Tue, 12 Dec 2006 20:28:58 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-57 Thanks Ron - Welcome! Keep coming back as there will always be new articles to read :) Thanks Ron - Welcome! Keep coming back as there will always be new articles to read :)

]]> By: Ron http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-56 Ron Tue, 12 Dec 2006 16:28:52 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-56 The more I read these articles the more I am aware of people around me who are "suffering' from The Disquiet. I am referring them to this site. There is much to consider in my own life as I think about ways to handle "OR NOT daily trials and tribulations. This is excellent stuff! The more I read these articles the more I am aware of people around me who are “suffering’ from The Disquiet. I am referring them to this site. There is much to consider in my own life as I think about ways to handle “OR NOT daily trials and tribulations. This is excellent stuff!

]]> By: dave http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-55 dave Tue, 12 Dec 2006 13:40:55 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-55 Lyle - yup. That is kind of the classic image we think about when we see the words "male midlife crisis" isn't it? And I don't think it's just another mode for diversion or numbing pain. Sex of course plays into our sense of being as a man. So if our Disquiet is linked up with how we feel we are doing, it's a short slippery slide for some into to sexual mis-adventures being an additional fall out of the struggle. And boy can it get messy! Seems we all know stories and examples of bad choices that seemed the right thing at the time. Lyle - yup. That is kind of the classic image we think about when we see the words “male midlife crisis” isn’t it?

And I don’t think it’s just another mode for diversion or numbing pain. Sex of course plays into our sense of being as a man. So if our Disquiet is linked up with how we feel we are doing, it’s a short slippery slide for some into to sexual mis-adventures being an additional fall out of the struggle. And boy can it get messy! Seems we all know stories and examples of bad choices that seemed the right thing at the time.

]]> By: Lyle Lachmuth - The Unsticking Coach http://www.thedisquiet.com/the-disquiet/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-54 Lyle Lachmuth - The Unsticking Coach Tue, 12 Dec 2006 12:36:27 +0000 http://www.thedisquiet.com/discussions/whatever-you-do-dont-do-this/#comment-54 Great post! This may be a special case of "Drugging it"... But, many men reach for younger women and sex as a cure. Lyle Great post!

This may be a special case of “Drugging it”…

But, many men reach for younger women and sex as a cure.

Lyle

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